The 10 Greatest Cyborgs In Games
With Deus Ex: Human Revolution out this week, we thought we’d champion the best cyborgs gaming has to offer. From super strength, hyper intelligence to good old fashioned firepower, being a cyborg definitely has it’s benefits, unless you’re Robocop of course, then you just walk like you’ve shat yourself and are forced to eat baby food all day.
So here we have the best cyborgs in gaming, and s always, if you think we’ve missed someone special, let us know in the comment box below.
10. Nathan Spencer
As seen in Bionic Commando (Arcade, NES)
Over the years, Nathan ‘Rad’ Spencer has gone from flame-haired, wisecracking special agent to dreadlocked schmuck in a vest. The modern reboot committed a cardinal sin in that it elaborated the story in ways that should just be left well alone.
You know ‘new’ Spencer’s bionic arm that lets him swing about like a wrecking ball made of emo? Yeah, that’s his dead wife. No, we’re not messing with you, the game’s ‘twist’ ending reveals that Spencer’s arm contains elements of his spouse. Apparently, in order for bionics to work properly, they have to sync perfectly on an emotional and physical level.
What a load of total arse.
9. Barret Wallace
As seen in Final Fantasy VII (PC, PSone)
Ah good old Barret. This foul-mouthed, hot head just loves to lose his cool and shake like he’s coming off a rough weekend down the pub. He also enjoys letting rip with his gun arm, a fully automatic weapon grafted onto his body. He rarely seems to hit anyone with it in during text or cut scenes though.
His former best friend and father to his adopted child Dyne also has a gun on his arm, and the two duke it out to the death following a standoff in the bowels of the Gold Saucer desert prison. It’s a cool scene, but really Barret, can you stop with the shaking already?
8. Cyborg Chimp
As seen in Timesplitters: Future Perfect (PS2, Xbox)
MONKEYS! Yeah everyone loves them don’t they? Timesplitters had something of a horn for the critters, as each game was littered with them. Cyborg Chimp was one of the best versions, complete with Robocop visor and a concealed banana inside its leg compartment.
As primitive as they may have been, we’d still rather have Cyborg Chimp answering our police distress calls than the shuffling monolith that is Robocop. They’re faster, more athletic, and their robot insides pretty much negate any threat of thrown faeces.
7. Ishi Sato
As seen in Bulletstorm (PC, PS3, Xbox 360)
After suffering a near-lethal injury near the start of Bulletstorm, Grayson Hunt’s long-suffering partner Ishi ends up a mangled, half-man, half machine powerhouse. Throughout the campaign, the AI compressed into Ishi’s brain starts turning him into an uncontrollable monster.
Of course, the villainous Sarrano doesn’t help pissing Ishi off by continually referring to him as ‘sushi dick’. Offensive slurs aside, Ishi is a badass character, and is involved in a neat little twist after the end credits roll. He’s also great as the voice of reason compared to Grayson’s pissed-up tomfoolery.
As seen in James Pond II: Codename Robocod (Mega Drive, SNES)
Well, technically fish can’t be cyborgs by strict definition, but how could we leave this aquatic special agent off our list? When Santa is held captive in his own North Pole toy factory, it’s up to James Pond – here transformed into a stretchy cyborg – to save the bearded chubster.
Inexplicably, Pond’s torso can stretch him several feet in the air, which is just perfect for reaching elevated handholds and raised platforms. It’s not exactly the most realistic or normal title on our list, but Robocod was a solid little platformer in its day.
5. Mutoid Man
As seen in Super Smash TV (Arcade)
Perhaps Mutoid Man is pushing the boundaries of what classes as a cyborg even further than Robocod. After all, he is just basically a human torso grafted onto a metallic fortress on tank tracks. It’s a bloody joke, not to mention being insanely difficult to beat. The real question however is, what sort of existence does a man have when he’s only a torso?
He’s got all the firepower any normal person could ever hope to attain, but he’s so large he can’t even get outside the Smash TV arena, doomed to live forever in painful servitude to a television network. We’d just turn the guns on ourselves and be done with it.
4. Cyborg Agents
As seen in Syndicate (Amiga, Mega Drive, PC, SNES)
These identical automatons have one purpose, and one purpose only, and that is to take to the mean streets and lay the smack on anyone who deserves it. Identifiable only by their brightly coloured hair, these machines can be augmented into super-charged killing machines.
Because all of these cyborgs are essentially the same, you’d like to think that they would get a little bored mingling with their own kind. Here’s a classic scenario:
Blue-haired Cyborg: “Hey orange-haired cyborg, what did you get up to today?”
Orange-haired cyborg: “Killing, how about you blue cyborg?”
Blue-haired cyborg: “Killing.”
3. Master Chief
As seen in Halo: Combat Evolved (PC, Xbox)
Cybernetically enhanced superman Master Chief is above the rest of us mere mortals in many ways. He wields super strength, super speed, super moon boot-jumping abilities, and is a super crack shot with a gun. Apparently, the only thing science couldn’t give him is a personality.
He may not be strictly human, but Master Chief will do anything to help save mankind, which is a noble quality indeed. Hopefully that quality won’t have been lost in transit at the beginning of Halo 4.
2. JC Denton
As seen in Deus Ex (PC)
While Deus Ex: Human Revolution’s Adam Jensen is full of cyborg trickery and augmentations, JC Denton is where it all started. Despite wearing shades, leather jacket and sporting a monotonous voice, he’s not to be confused with Keanu Reeves. It’s very important that you know the difference.
JC is a dab hand at close range combat, ranged weapons, stealth, hacking, persuasion, deception and everything else. You name it, and this mish-mash of organic tissue and Meccano parts can do it. The game itself is a thing made of sheer win, and you really should play it if you haven’t already.
1. Gray Fox
As seen in Metal Gear Solid (PC, PSone)
Gray Fox combines two of the most kick-ass things in the history of the world, namely, robots and ninjas. Although Snake rarely encounters Gray Fox throughout the Metal Gear Solid campaign, each encounter is utterly memorable, such as their battle in the Shadow Moses server room.
The awesome doesn’t end there, as Gray Fox tries to SINGLE-HANDEDLY take on Metal Gear Rex, giving it a superb fight until it manages to crush him with its head. Some say the collective tears shed at this scene could fill 800 bathtubs, or if you’re metric, 9,000 toddler-size paddling pools.
Although he’s totally deranged, Gray Fox is still an awesome cyborg, and while mecha-Raiden is kind of cool, we still can’t get over his weak showing in Metal Gear Solid 2. Long live Gray Fox!