For all that politicians bemoan video games as an evil force corrupting the nation’s youth and turning them into killers, murderers and socially inept feral beasts, the powers that be could learn an awful lot from games if they would only open their hearts and let them in.
Take newly elected Prime Minister David Cameron for example. Love him or loathe him, he’s running the show now. But we can’t help feel that the following games could make him a more suitable man for the job.
This series has always been about town-building, prosperity and managing budgets effectively. It’s the perfect political training simulator. David could have a blast making a mini-Britain complete with the financially divergent social classes he enjoys so much, rigorous spending plans that are sure to spiral out of control over time and natural disaster contingency plans.
Who knows? The next time Britain comes under attack from aliens, city-smashing hurricanes and flooding, we could sleep easy knowing that Cameron has put serious time into Sim City. In god sims we trust.
Medal of Honor
In an effort to make David Cameron more sensitive to the harsh realities of war, he should be encouraged to play EA’s forthcoming Medal of Honour on a regular basis.
Fighting for glory, medals and of course, honour is an old-hat, traditionally British way of looking at war. The reality of the war in Afghanistan includes scorching heat, unclear motives, and having no clear idea of when you’re getting to come home. Not to mention the possibility that you could be shot and die at any moment. Fun right?
If the new Medal of Honor does deliver the realism the developer has suggested, the game could be used to show Cameron just how horrible war really is and to let him experience it in a video game setting. Putting him in the ill-fitting boots of a British soldier may send alarm bells ringing. Just remind him that regen health is not a real thing and we’re golden.
This classic Spectrum game is essentially ‘dictatorship for dummies’ delivered in colourful retro fashion. Secret police forces, guerrilla insurgents and the constant threat of revolution are the order of the day here. Only by keeping everyone happy and spending budgets wisely can players stave off the threat of revolution at the hands of the far left peasants.
We’re not suggesting that David Cameron will be a dictator, but this game is a perfect way to convince him not to mess the lower classes around with job cuts, tax inflation and other devious schemes.
Resident Evil 5
Seeing as the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats have joined forces, Cameron could learn a lot about teamwork by wading through zombie-infested Africa with a friend in Resident Evil 5. For added motivation he could even pretend that the hordes of zombies are lower class citizens as he blows them to bits with his policy pistols.
We’d actually encourage Cameron and Clegg to sit down in front of the telly, fire up their console and engage in a lengthy co-op session Although, it will be interesting to see how often Cameron hogs the item drops and leaves Clegg behind, smothered under a pile of ravenous zombies, his cries for help falling on deaf ears.
2010 FIFA World Cup
Cameron is often criticised for seeming out of touch and generally not ‘down’ with the common voter. Perhaps engaging in a few matches of FIFA with voice chat enabled may help him understand people better and pick up some everyday lingo at the same time? After all, it would be embarrassing if Cameron wandered into his local pub and started expressing his support for Westminster United, England FC, or London Town.
We can see him now, waxing lyrical over a lively world cup match, talking about football’s most recent signings, the rising price of joiner’s tools and transit van maintenance like a pro. We’ll make him one of us yet…
It’s another retro classic, this time on the Commodore 64. M.U.L.E. is essentially a lesson in supply and demand. Cameron could use the game to test his economical policies and ensure we all have enough to eat, drink and of course, make sure that new video games reach the stores on time. We really have to get our priorities straight…
It’s a game that tasks players with steering a group of people with diverse personalities through challenging times. Cameron should use The Sims as a testing ground for cabinet reshuffles, housing regulations and more.
Why not make a family consisting of Cameron, Clegg, Hague and the rest of the powers that be, throw them in a representation of the debating chamber, seal off all the doors and see what happens next?
We’re not quite sure how this one would help Cameron as such, but it would certainly entertain us to see a digital William Hague repeatedly wet himself in a cupboard. Just a thought.
With the economy in such dire straits, it’s time to make some CRAZY MONEY!
Maybe Cameron feels so reluctant to reach out to the working class because he believes we’re actually having the time of our lives. Let’s face it; if Sega’s Crazy Taxi was an accurate portrayal of what it is like to be a cabbie, it would be the most sought after, lucrative profession on the planet.
Not only would the game show Cameron what it’s like to work hard for a living, it would also show him how to make some crazy money for our country. See what we did there? Crazy? No?