Lollipop Chainsaw claims #1 in Top 5 cheerleaders in games list
Our team of experts has analysed the performances of dozens of in-game cheerleaders, assessing a range of qualities including athleticism, attitude, personality, sense of rhythm, skirt shortness, team work, versatility and chainsaw size and have reached a unanimous verdict on who is the greatest cheerleader in games, along with four ranked runners up. So here they are…
This zombie-slaying high school beauty has everything you could want from a cheerleader, including a massive chainsaw. She’s the creation of Japanese ‘punk rock’ developer Suda 51, who has a bit of experience designing cheerleaders, as you can see in this screenshot from one of his previous games, No More Heroes…
Lessons learned there? Make sure your cheerleader is wearing a top that just about fits her. And make sure she has a chainsaw.
Madden NFL 2012
The last Madden game to feature cheerleaders was Madden 2005, way back in 2004. That’s seven long years Madden fans have had to cope without girls dancing and shouting stuff at regular intervals during games. It’s felt so dry and soulless without them. But now they’re back! Gimme an ‘E’! Gimme an ‘A’! E! A! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!
Disgaea 3: Absence Of Justice
It might seem weird for a fantasy strategy RPG to have ‘cheerleader’ as one of its character classes, but when you realise that Disgaea 3 is set in a high school it makes a little more sense. But not much.
Cheerleaders come under the ‘support’ category that you get in a lot of other RPGs and strategy games – meaning they specialise in enhancing their team mates abilities, but aren’t great in direct combat – only with skimpier outfits than this usually implies.
Free Radical drew a lot of influence from B-movie staples in Timesplitters and, as any B-movie fans knows, you can’t create a mansion full of zombies without sending at least one cheerleader in there. But where most B-movies would have their cheerleader eaten by zombies while taking a shower, or something along those lines, Mary-Beth Casey knows how to use a shotgun and fights back. Two-four-six-eight! Who do we de-cap-it-ate! Zombies! Zombies! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!
Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan
Men? Are you serious? Male cheerleaders? Yeah, why not? And the cheerleaders in Osu! Takakae! Ouendan (roughly translated ‘Hey! Fight! Cheer Squad’) don’t cheer about trivial things like sports performances either – they help ordinary people like you and I. So if you’re having trouble concentrating on your exam revision they’ll show up out of nowhere and help you concentrate by singing and shouting and dancing in your general direction. Can’t say that would help me concentrate, but then I’m not a character in a quirky Japanese DS game, so what would I know?