You know what? Some of this lot are really ****ing useless...

10.
Accessory: Wii Darts Controller add-on

We imagine it says 'Not To Be Thrown' on the packaging.

Incompatibility: 19/25
Pointlessness: 15/25
Expensiveness: 2/25
Tackiness: 12/25
Overall Uselessness: 48%

What the hell?: We love it when the notion that the simplest ideas are the best is crushed underfoot like the day Gulliver went apeshit. Random non-sequiturs aside, how on earth did anyone deem fit to bring this to market? It’s the kind of idea that could only be dreamed up by someone who has done nothing in their entire life besides play darts games on Wii, of which, as far as we know, there are only two. Our main issue here is that even dressed up in this clever disguise, the Wiimote still looks and feels absolutely nothing like a dart.

But it’s simply astonishing that something so utterly useless becomes a work of untrammelled genius when placed in the hands of an idiot. Just make sure it’s not your TV he or she is lobbing it at, though.

"I love the Power Glove. It's so bad." True quote...

9.
Accessory: The Power Glove
Incompatibility: 19/25
Pointlessness: 16/25
Expensiveness: 9/25
Tackiness: 13/25
Overall Uselessness: 57%

What the hell?: The Power Glove, not manufactured by – as some believe – but much touted by Nintendo for the NES, has to be one of the most instantly redundant technologies ever to exist. The accessory tracked basic hand movements and translated them into a form of control that made no sense to anyone whatsoever besides antagonist Lucas Barton from Nintendo-produced Eighties gaming-flick The Wizard who proclaimed that he “Loves the Power Glove. It’s so bad”.

The Power Glove was compatible with a total of two games, both of which – Super Glove Ball and Bad Street Brawler – were proclaimed to be a part of the ‘Power Glove Gaming Series’. It also cost $100 back in 1989, which is over a million billion dollars in today’s money. Neither of the games were available in Japan, but that didn’t stop Nintendo from selling it as an ‘alternative’ to the regular NES controller. Shocking.

8.
Accessory: Steel Battalion Controller
Incompatibility: 23/25
Pointlessness: 12/25
Expensiveness: 13/25
Tackiness: 10/25
Overall Uselessness: 58%

What the hell?: Do you like Mechs? We do. We like them in anime such as the excellent Appleseed series or in manga classics such as Battle Angel Alita, Neon Genesis Evangelion or the outstanding Gunbuster OVA. That’s where they belong. In videogames, however, they’re about as welcome as the revelation of your girlfriend having contracted an infection that will make your dong fall off.

Mech games don’t work outside of the rare fluke that was Zone Of The Enders and the reason is simple. To control all those weapons, arms, legs and other appendages takes a hell of a lot of different inputs. Capcom, rather than taking the rather obvious route of simply not making a hopelessly complicated mech game instead saw the solution was in the control system comprising two sticks, a main control panel, three pedals and more buttons and dials than you would realistically need to control an actual real-life aircraft carrier. In fairness, it sold out, but then Capcom only ever made 50,000 of the things and allegedly only broke even, which explains why, to this day, no one else has attempted such an ultimately pointless endeavour.

7.
Accessory: FPS Gaming Vest
Incompatibility: 13/25
Pointlessness: 23/25
Expensiveness: 14/25
Tackiness: 11/25
Overall Uselessness: 61%

… continued

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iuwii@NowGamer_Dan pointless but not expensive: wii wheel

Elliya@NowGamer_Dan Most pointless gaming accessories... Wii Remote Sports attachments. As if the Wii remote didn't already do enough damage...

Krystalle@NowGamer_Dan Although that new Nintendo finger pulse monitor thing is right up there in terms of "wtf"ery, IMO.

DefunctGames@NowGamer_Dan Without a doubt, Sega's Activator. It didn't work as promised and was needlessly complicated. It wasn't cheap, either.

pleasefindthis@NowGamer_Dan the gamecube to GBA connector, only good for Zelda WW/FFCC and the originally silly accessory, Rob The Robot.

newbiedm@NowGamer_Dan Hmmm, in the near future, the answer will be "books". :)

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