The moves that really move us!

With a few exceptions, if you could perform any of these moves with proficiency, we reckon you’re in with a shout at the UFC belt. These are the special moves we love, and spam with extreme prejudice. Some are powerful, others hard to pull off, but all are utterly ridiculous and define the game they feature in…

Spinning Lariat
Final Fight
Mike Haggar’s desperation move is something we’ve only ever seen drunken bums do while brawling. Spinning around with your fists clenched, yelling “AROOOOROOOW!” in a crowd of people would probably get you arrested. Not so with the mayor of Metro City. Then again it’s not like Metro City has any cops, is it?

Legendary Taunt
Street Fighter IV
This is the ultimate psych-out manoeuvre. Watching Dan tumble around, blathering taunts and shaking his fist at you is really quite the giggle. Anyone who hasn’t seen it will be so busy rolling on the floor laughing that it should be reasonably easy to cancel out of it into your ultra. Fun and functional, see.

Tower Attack
Disgaea 3
Only Disgaea would decide to make its already-nonsensical combat system even more complex by adding tower attacks. Essentially, everyone in your party dives on top of each other like some sort of demented circus act, and then swings the person above in a wide arc. Now that’s dumb.

Knights Of Round
FFVII
This attack calls on 11 knights to help you out, and woe betide anyone you decide to unleash this on. Quite exactly who these knights are is beyond us, as it seems a little unchivalrous to gang up, 11-to-one, against pretty much anyone, especially if you’re packing the kind of weaponry this lot do.

Ballbuster
God Hand
One of the earliest of Gene’s roulette attacks, the Ballbuster is the stalwart of bar fights around the world. As the name ‘Ballbuster’ suggests, the not-so-delicate application of foot to groin is something of a showstopper for any male combatant. It’s surely the real reason God invented frozen peas.

Friendship
Mortal Kombat III
Friendships were included in Mortal Kombat II and III by way of a snide comment at the way in which the more reactionary critics took to the idea of fatalities. It’s something that hasn’t been done since, and seeing your favourite MK character skipping instead of ripping out hipbones is worth seeing.

PF594
Devil May Cry 4
Pandora, Dante’s demonic briefcase is one of the most bizarre weapons in gaming. It has 666 forms, the strangest of which is a kind of floating cannon platform with the ability to launch rockets at your foes. Sadly, it’s still a pig to wheel around airports, and is seriously annoying to get up a curb if you’ve packed it too tight.

Oiroke No Jutsu
Naruto
Renamed Sexy No Jutsu by the Naruto fanboys, this special move offers the spiky-haired blond ninja the opportunity to turn into a naked woman in a flash. This is supposed to startle enemies like some sort of a sexy smoke bomb, but it’s more likely to be just a clever way of keeping the more lonely gamers playing.

… continued